Messing With The Oscilloscope

Messing With The Oscilloscope
It Hz

Friday, September 21, 2007

And We are not getting any younger

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."
- Hunter S. Thompson




I realized today that i am only going to get older and it scared the living shit out of me. Like i was mortified that i have wasted 2 years at this fucking shithole of a job and havent got as so much as a step closer to what i want as a career, which is predictable and the worst part is i have to now grip the steady fact that i wont ever live off of playing and making music... This is not fun to deal with i am 23 i have an expiration date on this lifestyle, no one likes a failed aging musician. Youth is fleeting and the worst of it is its spent being poor and depressed. i am trying to enjoy it then shit like this happens and you work with an ass load of i want to be famous music types and spend most free nights when you are not practicing drinking and trying to numb the realization that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It really hit me last night when a friend of mine from NYC told me its sad to see bands that you love never ever going to make it and if they break up there screwed back to the day job. he works in music publishing. I am not privileged, nor did i choose to the day job route and i have to either make it by hard work and some strange force of luck or give up and admit defeat. Either way everyone has the right to make art has the right to play on a stage i don't get to decide what the world likes and dislikes. So i just got to do what i like and hope it sticks but each day i know my time is coming to quit, to understand it was just a pipe dream.